yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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