Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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