once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
