You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
