I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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