This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
