There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize