Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
