oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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