what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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