So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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