we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
