would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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