I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
