if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
