At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I think my moral compass just broke
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