You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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