My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
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