just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize