Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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