i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
