the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
