Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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