I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
