i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
