Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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