hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
