that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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