I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
