Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
