I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
