theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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