My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
