he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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