i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize