Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
