i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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