don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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