sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
