She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
