He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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