:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I understand Curling. That high.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
