dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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