Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
