is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
