I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
