I hate your face
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
