His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
