Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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