i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
