Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
