It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
