She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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