Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
