sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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