I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize