Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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