you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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