My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
