i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
