a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
