Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
